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Daddyism #4

Rabbit Rabbit.

"It just seems silly to see two men on a date."

In light of my resolution to be nicer to Daddy, I'm posting one of my favorite Daddyisms.


Daddy and I are at Harry's Burritos. The gay couple next to us leaves.

Daddy: You know, it just seems so silly to see two men on a date.

Me: Really? Why?

Daddy: I just think that most men are just interested in dating with the hope that it will lead to sex. So it just seems like there's no point in going through the pretense when you're interested in men.

I love it because it shows his tolerance (despite maybe some ignorance). Also, it's rare that Daddy says the s-e-x word in front of me.

Getting So Serious Right Now

Hate to burden you with my writing goals but, like I said, I need you to keep me accountable, dear lovers and friends (don't worry, you don't actually have to do anything).

My professional goals are pretty ambitious but... when you're trying to break into a super competitive field, the least you can be is ambitious, right? Right.

1. Write six spec scripts
Breaks down to two months per script. Insanely slow rate for a real TV writer but with my day job and all the other stuff I'm doing, this will definitely be a challenge. Still, I need to speed it up if I'm going to make it in a writers' room.

2. Write at least two pilots
I've got a couple ideas, including one with my high school BFF Philly. The time has come to actually write the scripts and all the other stuff that goes along with them.

2a. Film a pilot?
I saw so many awesome independent pilots at the New York Television Festival this year. I'd like to enter for 2013, but I know little about film production and it might not be feasible. But I'm trying.

3. Enter all fellowships and three festivals
There are 4 or 5 major TV writing fellowships, with the first deadline being Nickelodeon, starting this month. The good thing about the fellowships is that they all want spec scripts and I can use the same one or two for all of them.

The first festival entry is just a 90-second pitch for the Austin TV Festival, due on youtube in two weeks.

4. Create website
I need a website that has more than this blog on it. Not sure what, but something.

5. Increase blog following
If I knew how to do this one, I would've done it already. I think part of it involves migrating to wordpress, which is giving me problems. This is especially important because I've heard that studios are looking to blogs for TV content, so if I could actually make this blog happen, it could concretely help me out.

Take, for example, Myra at www.myparentsarecrazierthanyours.com, who is getting her mini-series financed based on her blog (also about living at home) and pretty much living the dream.

Bottom Line
Last year, I made it my resolution to pursue being a TV writer. I've kept it up for a whole year (a long time for me) but I've only just dipped my toe in the water. I guess my professional resolutions can be summed up as Get Serious in 2013.

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Feel free to leave me some words of encouragement. Or, you know, tell me to shut up and talk about Daddy's latest shenanigans.

I'm Resolving to Magically Become Better

Sorry to make this all about me for a second, but if I publish my New Year's resolutions for the world* to see, maybe I'll feel more obligated to follow them.

*almost literally according to Google Analytics but, you know, 

mostly the US and with some noticeable exceptions 

(what's your problem, Greenland?)

I've broken my resolutions into two parts, since I have so freaking many. My personal resolutions are pretty short and sweet, I think.

1. Be less selfish
I like to think of my self as an unselfish person. I have a sponsor child, I contribute monthly to Greenpeace and Amnesty International, as well as a couple activist organizations. But, if I'm being honest, all that proves is that I work in New York City and have poor resistance to people with clipboards.

It pains me to admit this but, after Hurricane Sandy, when many of my friends were volunteering their time in Staten Island, The Rockaways, and New Jersey, I was just enjoying some peace and quiet. I can't explain why I didn't feel motivated to help. Actually, it might be related to some bad volunteer experiences I had in the past, or it could be that I'm too happy.

Anyway, I think for my personal growth I need to volunteer or maybe just do nice things for my grandparents. Goals should be quantifiable and obtainable, so let's say... volunteer / do something nice (that requires effort) for someone else (Tom doesn't count) 10 times this year.

2. Be nicer to Daddy
Poor old man. You, lovers and friends, know more than anyone how much I complain about him. Not that he doesn't deserve it sometimes.

I'm nice to him most of the time but sometimes I feel the need to snub him when he's babying me too much. Why do I do that? I can't really quantify this one but let's make it my goal to be rude to him as close to zero times as I can.

3. Stick to monthly budget
Ugh, money. I've been kind of bad since moving home, because I think "I'm sacrificing my freedom, so I should be allowed to spend whatever, right?" Not like I'm obsessed with shopping, but I take liberties with buying egg sandwiches, tea, lunch... which adds up in New York, or probably anywhere.

I just need to remind myself that the more money I spend, the longer I have to live at home.


Feedback? What are your resolutions?

Merry Christmas! I'm Getting Fat

Ok, so I'm not getting fat by American standards. I'm probably not even near average for good ol' USA. But I'm slowly and steadily gaining weight, even if I'm the only one that notices.

September

December

Of course, eventually someone is bound to notice. And that someone is Daddy.

Yesterday morning, during Christmas breakfast...

Daddy: Wow, you're really eating a lot, Jilly. You finished your omelette and now you're eating two pieces of French toast? Daddy's never seen you eat like this.

I pause, thinking maybe I shouldn't eat all this.

Jilly: It's not... that much.

Mommy: You'd be surprised. She can eat more than you'd think and stay that small.

Daddy: What do you think? Now that you're married, you can eat as much as you want?

This was met by an "Ohhhhhhh" from the rest of the family, the type usually reserved for "yo mama" jokes on the playground. Daddy quickly laughed it off, assured me he was kidding, and kissed me one too many times on the cheek.

Daddy, we're not friends. When I can curse in front of you, you can make jokes.

Am I The Only One That Still Loves Friendly's?

This ode* to Friendly’s has to do with another story (I swear I’ll get to it), but it turns out I have a lot to say about Friendly’s on its own.

In case you don’t live in the suburbs of the Northeast U.S., Friendly’s is a sit-down diner-esque restaurant chain, that is slightly fancier than Denny’s but less fancy than Ruby Tuesday’s.
...And if you don’t live in the U.S. at all, I’ve made nothing clearer for you - although, side note, we went to a Ruby Tuesday’s in India so that’s apparently universal.

Friendly’s is famous for their ice cream, especially:

The Wattamelon Roll

 sherbet with chocolate chips - you’d think they’d clash but they don’t

And, most of all, the Cone Head sundae.

order it with Black Raspberry (purple!) ice cream

When I was a kid, the Cone Head was the thing. And, it needs to be said, Friendly’s leadership! If you ever stumble on this:

DON’T THINK NOBODY NOTICED THAT YOU TOOK THE EXTRA REESE’S PIECES OUT OF THE BOTTOM OF THE CONE HEAD.

There used to be bonus Reese’s Pieces in the bottom of the sundae and the menu description even said “with a surprise at the bottom” but they stealthily removed that about 15 years ago and I will NEVER forget. Hope you're enjoying all those Reese’s Pieces savings, corporate fat cats. Actually, the company has been struggling in recent years despite improvements made over the last decade, but I digress...

Friendly’s has been a weirdly big part of my life, starting with my childhood. Here’s a preview of my to-be-self-published memoir, titled...

Ice Cream Cone Dreams: My Life in Terms of Friendly’s

When I was a kid, there was a Friendly’s right by our house,which Amy and I used to walk to with our parents. Now that I’m living there again, I’m sad it’s no longer around, and sometimes fantasize about buying the building from Aboff’s and convincing Friendly’s to reopen because the building is still vaguely Friendly’s-shaped.

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My friends and I also used to spend a lot of time at Friendly's in high school. You know, just eating fatty foods, annoying waiters, writing songs and plays, typical trouble-making teenage stuff. The cool kids hanging out at Mill Dam probably had nothing on us.

Many years later, Tom and I bonded over how we both still love Friendly’s and ended up going there on our third date. (Hot!) 

I’m guessing the future includes our taking our kids to Friendly's, and my begging the server to hide some Reese’s Pieces at the bottom of my hypothetical daughter’s sundae until she gets old enough to demand one of their new-fangled sundaes like the Monster Mash or Vol-Cone-O or whatever.

And after that? A Black Raspberry ice cream IV drip in my nursing home? All I know is that my love affair with Friendly’s won’t die until one of us (the restaurant or I) does.

*Disclaimer: I’m fully aware that I should be ashamed of my love for Friendly’s.

Why Are We Still Sending Christmas Cards?

You know what sucks about being a grown up in December? Christmas cards.

In 2012, there are countless reasons not to send Christmas cards. For example, the internet exists. The phone exists. Well, those are pretty much the only two reasons, but do we really need more?

Is it the invention of the internet, or did this chore always suck? I remember my mom dutifully writing cards (usually containing a photo of Amy and me in red dresses) and she seemed fine with it. But how did she have time with two kids and work and going to school? Hmm, given that, I should just stop complaining right now... but I won't.

What about my grandparents' generation? Was sending Christmas cards no biggie because people were just sending letters all the time anyway? (Or was that my great grandparents' generation?)

Given my relative disdain for the process, you might wonder why I'm bothering. Well...

• I already bought Christmas cards on sale after Christmas last year;
• They are pretty and sparkly;
• I sometimes fantasize about being one of those together people that remembers birthdays and sends Christmas cards (oh well).

I gave it a try, anyway. Tonight is my last night writing cards and tomorrow I'm sending out whatever we have done. So if you get a card from Tom and me, you're either very special (grandparents), very lucky (random), or alphabetically superior (sorry, L-thru-Z).

Given that you're probably not one of those people, here's my Christmas Card to you, lovers and friends:

...and don't bother asking about our wedding thank yous. You'll get yours probably on day 364.