Happy post-Thanksgiving! Enough with the home cooked food; time to get back to eating out. As I draft this, I'm on my way to meet Daddy for dinner. Started me thinking about all his restaurant rules.
Each of these could be an individual Daddyism, as these are all verbatim phrases that have been repeated to Amy and me for countless years.
Daddy's Restaurant Rules
1. (Re: valet) They want me to pay them to park my car five feet away. You know there's a free lot right across the street, right?
2. (Optional) It's too loud in here. Let's go somewhere else.
3. Close the menu so the waitress knows we're ready. Close it! She's looking over here.
4. The waitress is coming. Get ready! Don't let her walk away; it'll be 20 minutes before we see her again.
Note: I was 21 when I found out you could actually say, "We need a few more minutes." and not be sentenced to starvation.
5. Don't fill up on bread (or chips), girls.
-or- Don't forget, you have a whole meal coming.
-or- Save room for dinner.
6. You get one soda, so save it until your meal comes.
6a. (Upon waiter refilling drink) Wait! Are those free refills?
7. (Added circa 2009) Do you have cash? (I usually say no.) What a surprise. I'll give you cash and you can put it on your credit card. Sigh, adulthood.
I will say, in Daddy's defense, that he had 8 brothers and sisters so they never got to go to restaurants as kids. Therefore he couldn't have known his rules would eventually drive me insane.
I'm not without my own quirks. Maybe tomorrow I'll give you Ms. PC's restaurant rules.
I could agree with #2. Sometimes a place is just too noisy. But I don't understand #7 at all.
ReplyDeleteLol it's just embarrassing sometimes when we have to up and leave a restaurant, sometimes after we've already been seated.
DeleteHaaa #7 is a drag.
OMG! He leaves a crowded place once he's seated?! You're supposed to make the "should I stay, or should I go" decision at the door, daddy, 'cause once you're in, you're in.
DeleteIt's probably my fault for overestimating his ability to handle a moderate volume of music.
DeleteLol, this is funny. I smiled at your dad's rules but can't say I disagree much. I hate to wait to order when I'm hungry so I'm pretty sure I made other people close the menu to get our orders faster. And if it's too noisy, or if I realise I don't like the place much, I'll also walk out...
ReplyDeleteI guess we ll have our restaurant rules! One of mine: I always order the second cheapest wine :-)
Lol. The second cheapest wine! That's a great rule!
DeleteI could only think of two rules for myself: (1) no onions in my food and (2) I'm getting the same thing I order every time.